The theme of interplay of appearance and reality is at play under the thematic garb of Hall’s story. Hall strives for ‘freedom’ but when she faces reality she realizes the fatality of her ideals, ‘I was wrong’ as she ‘ran smack up against poverty and lack of place in the male world’ and the freedom ‘came to me in little pieces’ (Hall, 1984). She undergoes the emotional turmoil as well during her struggle for independence and she takes escape in alchohol and later in illwgitimate relationships although during her studies she ‘learned to fit in’ without ‘relating to the men sexually’ (Hall, 1984, p.67). But after her divorce she is a different person, ‘I wasn’t at all sure a woman with seven children could survive with dignity without a man’ (Hall, 1984). As soon as she reaches the status of a ‘divorced’ woman she realizes the bias against her even at the hospital. ‘Would he (doctor)’ , thinks Hall, ‘have given me more time and care if I were a man? Or some man’s wife?’ (Hall, 1984, p.02). The mark of ‘divorced’ which she had ‘refused to check’ most time was a ‘mark against’ her (Hall, 1984, p.02).
Hall stuggled from the very start of her life to ‘prove’ herself ‘worthy’ of men’s ‘world’ and it was important to earn ‘dignity’ than money (Hall, 1984, p.67). She took refugee in alchohol during her marital life but once she left it she did not consume any more as she says to Dr. Frankestein, ‘I’m a sober alcoholic’ but ‘I haven’t taken drugs or put anything toxic in my body for twenty two years’ (Hall, 1984, p.168).
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